What race would you not date? This is a question that has become too common in trends seen throughout Youtube and Tik Tok. However, it is not the question but rather the answer that has disturbed many. Not only are the videos downright disrespectful, but they also highlight a prominent issue that needs to be addressed: the harmful stereotypes of Asian Americans that have negatively impacted several Asian American kids.
The “What race would you not date” videos began a few years ago but have become increasingly popular over time. They consist of a youtube influencer going around a public area such as a school or the mall and asking random strangers which race they would not date and why. An overwhelming amount of the answers are along the lines of “Indians, because they are greasy and smell like curry” or “the Chinese because they can’t see and have strict parents.” The videos leave a permanent mark on childrens’ self-esteem and the ways in which they view themselves as Asian Americans. Moreover, these videos perpetuate detrimental and damaging stereotypes about Asians that are completely inaccurate.
Siya Angras, an Indian American sophomore from Rutgers Preparatory School, reflected on watching these videos as a young thirteen year old, saying that they affected her “extremely negatively, especially when [she] was younger. [She] didn’t want to be Indian and these videos just made [her] hate being Indian.” She further discussed being mistaken for Latina, and how boys would consistently express their disappointment when realizing that she was Indian: “South Asians are always seen as hairy, smelly, and just something that no one wants to associate with. Often, even brown men perpetuate these stereotypes.”
Katrina Zeng, another sophomore who attends Princeton Day School, discussed the issue of POC men further perpetuating stereotypes about POC women, and occasionally POC women doing it to the men as well. She went on to talk about the normalized racism against Asian Americans and how it was important to separate East and South Asians who deal with separate stereotypes and have different experiences with racism: “Ching-chong” just isn’t treated the same way as other racially derogatory terms, because it isn’t viewed as one. That’s the inherent problem. No one sees an issue with saying that because it’s been so normalized that it’s no longer racially derogatory. Also, we need to talk about the difference between brown and East Asians. I think it’s important to differentiate because the two groups have very different experiences with racism.”
The widespread impact of these videos has harmed too many Asian American teens and kids, which begs the question: What can be done about these videos, the normalization of racism, and the usage of degrading stereotypes towards Asian Americans? Most believe that holding influencers accountable would not achieve anything, and would like to tackle this issue through more conversation. Though it seems like a trivial thing to do, it is a good place to start considering that people have just recently begun to call out the videos and their harmful outcomes. So if someone asks, “What race would you date?” do not just answer it thinking that it is a “preference,” because it is not. It is just a way to excuse the blatant racism against Asian Americans that sparks horrible self-esteem issues among children all over the country, and even the world.